The Center for Galactic Anomalies: Capture. Contain. Control. We’re the first, and often only, line of defense between you and the anomalous horrors that would like to take a big ole’ bite out of reality as you know it. Or a bite out of you. You can never be too certain of what they want. And that’s precisely why you need us.
Intergalactic travel is made simple thanks to naturally occurring wormholes, sometimes called portals, within all major solar systems and just outside the orbits of the most populous planets. Unfortunately for you earthlings, the closest wormhole to you is hidden within the incredibly dangerous Sagittarius A black hole, which we once considered removing for you and placing inside the CGA, but then we realized your whole solar system would probably collapse in on itself if we did that. Your world is unique, like the CGA’s home world of Survalis, except that what makes your world unique is a major inconvenience for all of the other solar systems trying to communicate with you. What makes our world unique is that we live on a world created by a wormhole connected to a seemingly empty, yet random dimension that we call “the void.” The void has yet to be explained fully by science, even our science, which is the best. The void seems to be a dimension between wormholes that can somehow creep through even regular, reliable wormholes. The objects that come out of the void are referred to as anomalies, even if that anomaly is just a grilled cheese sandwich. I mean, would you eat a grilled cheese sandwich that manifested out of nowhere? Wait—don’t answer that. We tried to warn your kind about where corn really came from, and you completely disregarded that because it made an excellent chip.
When the wormhole inside Survalis formed, it combined exotic matter with normal, carbon-based matter to give us resources not found anywhere else in the galaxy. These resources allow us to accomplish things previously thought impossible, like sending a ship through Sagittarius A unscathed. Our proximity to the void dimension has also prepared us for anything. And that’s why we can reach you, outer rimmers, to offer you our protection.
Found a beast roaming out in the mountains that definitely isn’t a bear? Has the water in your toilet started to float mid-air? Are little gray men knocking on your door and asking for hair samples? Is the corn speaking to you yet? Because, really, that’s a big one. We already know that the corn can teleport on nights with a new moon, but is it saying full sentences yet? Please tell us if you have.
Want to help with an anomalous investigation?
You, the general population, can help me, your CGA-Earth liaison, with an investigation. There are these books cropping up everywhere with the Center for Galactic Anomalies in their titles. You may think that these are official CGA records, but that’s the anomalous part: they aren’t. The official Center for Galactic Anomalies Corprocratic Organization has nothing to do with the existence of these books, nor can we determine how they came into being. They’re published under the name “Carly Coleman” and feature photos of this woman:
I have interviewed her, and Coleman claims no affiliation with the Center for Galactic Anomalies corporation. She claims never to have heard of such a thing, nor does she know anything about a serialized accounting of the perilous adventures of anyone on Survalis. She said, “Space is dumb. Earth has enough to worry about without adding space into the mix. Save that stuff for later.”
How so ever, shortly after saying this, she received a call from a restricted number. She departed in a huff, and a CGA-branded business card fell out of her purse, along with seven crumpled Target receipts and two chapsticks. However, she has been spotted in over 28 states in a suspicious-looking van with magnets on the sides featuring the CGA logo and the text, “Seen something you can’t explain?” This van has been spotted in a number of suspiciously remote locations, such as the New Mexico desert, the Northern Cascades of Washington, and high up on the Wyoming mountains. The strangeness of the locations suggests possible employment with the CGA, perhaps in trying to catch some of the elusive American cryptids. But it gets weirder: she’s not a CGA employee. No one at the CGA had heard of her before we shipped out and locked up all copies of The Center for Galactic Anomalies and Into the Void: A Sequel to The Center for Galactic Anomalies.
And it gets weirder yet. Stick with me.
The books were locked in a low-level security hold for anomalous, yet seemingly harmless objects, you know, grilled cheeses that appeared out of nowhere and such. The classification was under Anomaly #813.693. That was a stupid decision on the part of our paraphysicists as the books teleported back to Earth. I asked my colleagues about what happened to the books, but they have no memory of them whatsoever. Several of my fellow investigators, particularly those in the temporal department, read the books all the way through. They described it as an enjoyable read with horrifying implications for our world. It’s like they were telepathically memory-wiped. I theorize that, because I’m physically on earth, I’m the only one who remembers what they say.
Now here’s how you can help. I need you all to read these books and generate some buzz about them to relaunch the investigation into #813.693. No other CGA employees remember anything, and I’m struggling to even locate the digital records and transmissions surrounding its capture and containment. They closed the official case and are questioning my sanity. But let me assure you, I am completely sound of mind and free of your mind-warping earth substances, which makes ordering take-out very difficult because you people put corn in everything. Matching up some names of real CGA employees, anomaly naming conventions, and conditions on the planet, the books would make it seem like these events take place in the future, and if this is accurate to the actual timeline… we’re doomed. The case needs to be reopened for the safety of my planet, but I can’t keep advocating for it myself, or they’ll declare me mentally unfit for my duties and send me home with no job, and that’s why I have to get the people of Earth talking about these books. They haven’t appeared on any other planets as of yet. Why is that? No clue. I think the more people involved, the more I’ll learn. The Center for Galactic Anomalies on Amazon and Goodreads. Into the Void on Amazon and Goodreads.
I know reading isn’t your planet’s favorite pastime anymore, so if you don’t have time to read it completely, you can still help spread the word online. Here are all of the socials registered under Carly Coleman’s name. She claims she doesn’t know how the CGA-related posts got on her accounts. She suspects a hacker. But I don’t really care how they got there; all I care about is whether the correlation between followers/interactions increases the number of CGA-related posts.
A Synopsis of The Center for Galactic Anomalies
Out now on Kindle eBook and Paperback. Currently free to read with Kindle Unlimited. It is also available on IngramSpark and Barnes & Noble.
“Have you learned nothing, Vern? No one belongs here. That’s the whole point.”
Adrius Gordian about the Center for Galactic Anomalies, Chapter Nine
In a galaxy full of irony, the planet Survalis is ostracized from the Galactic Federation, and yet they provide the service everyone needs to travel safely between planets: The Center for Galactic Anomalies. The Center for Galactic Anomalies captures and contains all of the galaxy’s greatest mysteries, including those that they have created themselves. When their top telepathic behaviorist, Dexia, is charged with controlling their latest and most disobedient genetically engineered soldier, Tycho, the mysteries start to unravel in deadly ways.
“Look, my official job title is ‘Telepathic Behavioral Containment Specialist,‘ meaning that I manipulate anomalies’ minds to keep them under control. I don’t always do it with telepathic manipulation.” I kicked the hover back into drive and sped off towards the glowing set of apartment buildings in the distance. “Sometimes I just help people get what they need.”
Dexia Mohktar, Chapter Three
Dexia Mohktar has the unique ability to read and manipulate the thoughts of others. What most would consider a gift, she views as her own doom as telepaths are strictly forbidden from leaving Survallis, their eternal frozen prison world. While life goes on as the world descends into disaster, Dexia is commissioned with the capture of a rogue genetically engineered soldier. But Tycho isn’t like any of the disposable clone soldiers she’s contained before, he’s intelligent, peaceful, and potentially also a telepath. Her suspicions of the men in control of the CGA rise, especially as anomalies start dying.
They wanted to create a hero and I was the prototype. The first and the only. They didn’t know what to do with me, hence I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Tycho, Chapter Four
For all of the knowledge that was built into him, Tycho can’t understand why he was created. The genetic engineer that brought his mind to life went insane and no one else will tell him why he’s here. They designed him to kill, but endowed him with a conscience that plagues him every day. All he wants is the freedom to decide his own destiny, a lofty aspiration for a person considered company property. And now some woman shows up and tells him that he might be telepathic, too – just another reason to keep him locked up as an anomaly. But Dexia isn’t like the scientists that made him, there’s an honesty about her that he’s never seen before. Could she be his ticket to freedom or become his reason to stay behind and fight?
For a synopsis on Into the Void: A sequel to The Center for Galactic Anomalies, please see this page.